Social media has drastically changed our romantic relationships from the way we meet one another to how we express our love. Many have often adopted the belief that if you didn’t post it online, it didn’t happen. Here is a quick guide on what NOT to do on social media, when it comes to love, dating and relationships.
Don’t Fake It - It is not uncommon for individuals that feel particularly self conscious about their relationship to post incessantly about how much they love their partner and how amazing they are. This “fake it til you make it” strategy can be particularly damaging as the focus of the poster becomes projecting a positive image to the public versus making the actual relationship better in reality. Instead of promoting an image of perfection that’s not your current reality, take some time to reflect on whether your current partnership is best and healthiest for you. Worrying less about what others think about your relationship will give you the time and energy to focus on what’s most important: your overall well-being.
Don’t Rely on Joint Accounts - Some couples have chosen to start joint social media accounts in hopes of preventing any inappropriate online exchanges with online friends. Trust is critical for any healthy relationship and while these accounts may work well for some couples, they provide no guarantee of keeping your partner from straying. Instead of using joint accounts, setup up mutual social media boundaries for yourself and your partner. Will you follow your exes? Like or comment on racy pics? Correspond with strangers via DM? Set and agree to any parameters up front to avoid confusion or disappointment further down the road.
Don’t Assume Reciprocity - Love languages certainly come in to play with our social media behaviors. For example, someone that consistently tags their partner in posts expressing their love and/or highlighting their partner’s accomplishments is likely hoping to receive these kinds of public displays of affection in return. It is not uncommon for these actions to go overlooked, as the partner may prefer to express their love in a more private setting. If expressing your love online brings you joy, that’s great! But, it’s important to be clear about your intentions here. Attempting to shame your partner into professing their love online is unrealistic and unfair. In fact, it has less to do with your relationship and more to do with others. Instead of keeping tally of who posted an online declaration of love last, ensure your efforts in real life are even greater. Make sure that you go out of the way to tell your partner how much they mean to you face-to-face. Speaking and demonstrating your love for one another in real time will strengthen the foundation for your relationship for years to come.